the first

2002-09-22 / 10:28 p.m.

Listening::
Playing::
Reading::

A new online diary were to begin...

First why an online diary? I find I actually write in it semi-regularly and I am almost more honest with myself. Maybe because I dont see it everyday staring at me.

So to begin...

Some of you may know mw from past diaries...others not. So an introduction of sorts is nessecary. I am alone. Not REALLY alone. I have parents and friends, but for the first time in my life I will be living by myself (starting tuesday). I moved out of an apartment with my boyfriend, crying and wondering where it had all gone wrong last week. Its a credit to my family and friends that they got me moved and settled so quick. Actually my dad is the hero. He spent a small fortune getting me set up. For all his faults and many shortcomings as a father and person he truly loves me. He was no help emotionally letting me cry and just saying how worthless my boyfreind was, the last thing a crying girl wants to hear (surprisingly), but he did what he does best and honestly the only thing he knows how to do; he gave unquestionly with his checkbook, thinking that all new stuff would make the pain go away. It didnt: but he tried and I do thank him for that.

My mother went on vacation, leaving me a note about being special and loving me, just making me cry harder, cause She sat up with every night, listening to things she didnt want to hear and worrying about a daughter whom words could not console.

My best friend michelle was there. Cracking jokes the whole way. Saying we needed another trip to escape our crappy lives.

Kat was there quietly lifting boxes and being there in general.

Even wade who I have a love hate relationship with was there at a moments notice ready to be there just to give me a hug.

I dont understand a lot of things. I still love my boyfriend (or ex) for what its worth, and everyday he seems to do something that would push me away.

anyway more will follow but I am sick of typing....

��

cabbages and kings