leaving town

2003-03-04 / 6:16 p.m.

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Well brian leaves Tuesday. The day I've dreaded forever is fast approaching. No one seems to understand why i care or still talk to him, but after about an hour conversation with Wade I think he does. It started out innocently enough, disecting Chris and Mike's failed relationship. It turned in to Jenni and Bri hour. Thats cool though. I love to talk and I love to talk about Brian. It made me realize how much I love him. I guess its the hard realization that the next four years are going to be hell. Don't get me wrong I want him to do well, I hope he enjoys it but I'm going to miss playing Zelda and cuddling on the couch watching movies oh and the sex too. He's never asked me to wait for him. I want him to though. I think he thinks its him being nice but I want him to want me to be faithful to him. The last day I get to see him is Friday. That kinda shocked me. He leaves Monday. His family has plans Saturday and Sunday. I guess I didn't think about not being included. It really hurts because like me or not their son is leaving and he likes me so it should be about him being with people he's going to miss. I'm not mad at this though, part of me understands because of my father, but then again I have told my parents what they can do with there opinions on all sorts of occasions (anyone remember daniel and my dad) I hope he talks to his mother about his address too. I have always liked her and hope that while she may not see the wisdom in Brians choices like my mother she respects them. I know he will get a hold of me regardless but still, it would be the most convient think and a really nice gesture.

I have been thinking a lot about giving him something when he leaves. Something stupid and sentimental of mine for him to remember me by. Not that I think he'll forget me, but something special to me that lets him know how much I love him. I know what I want from him, nothing material just three little words for me to remember while he's gone, because while I know it sure is nice to hear them....

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cabbages and kings