missing him

2003-04-15 / 8:47 a.m.

Listening::
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He called me. I don't understand why. Just wanted to see if we were friendsand to tell me he'd been thinking about me. I'm sitting in a resturant trying not to cry cuase Russell Lightfoot the hot guy from highschool is my waiter and my ex boyfriend who I love so much still calls. Why can't he either leave me alone or say he made a mistake. He already has a friend thats an ex he doesnt need me. And why waste his 2 minute phone call from boot camp that he get like 3 times in his whole 6 weeks to call me for some reason like that. I don't konw what to do... I just cried and cried and mom said I should be happy because it shows he still cares but if thats the case then just say that.

If you�re not the one then why does my soul feel glad today?

If you�re not the one then why does my hand fit yours this way?

If you are not mine then why does your heart return my call

If you are not mine would I have the strength to stand at all

I don�t want to run away but I can�t take it, I don�t understand

If I�m not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am?

Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?

If I don�t need you then why am I crying on my bed?

If I don�t need you then why does your name resound in my head?

If you�re not for me then why does this distance maim my life?

If you�re not for me then why do I dream of you as my wife?

I don�t know why you�re so far away

But I know that this much is true

We�ll make it through

And I hope you are the one I share my life with

And I wish that you could be the one I die with

And I pray in you�re the one I build my home with

I hope I love you all my life

I don�t want to run away but I can�t take it, I don�t understand

If I�m not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am

Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?

�Cause I miss you, body and soul so strong that it takes my breath away

And I breathe you into my heart and pray for the strength to stand today

�Cause I love you, whether it�s wrong or right

And though I can�t be with you tonight

And know my heart is by your side

I don�t want to run away but I can�t take it, I don�t understand

If I�m not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am

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cabbages and kings