looking up

2003-04-29 / 8:40 a.m.

Listening::
Playing::
Reading::

I actually had a good weekend. I heard from Brian again on Friday, telling me he graduated. I am happy for him, but just hearing from him makes me cry. Once again I don't understand why he bothers to call.

Anyway, Mike came over and took me to the mainstreet art festival. We where running late though so it was almost all shut down. okay your right he was running late. But he made up for it by buying me dinner and letting me get real drunk. He knew I was upset. We watched a great movie called Scotland,Pa. I recomend it to everyone. Its a sundance movie staring Christopher Walken and its a take off of Macbeth.

Saturday was nice too. Once again Brian called, twice actually. I just don't know how to tell him that hearing from him hurts. He's the one who left me, he chose to end it, now I'm not his friend. Do I wish that he would say I was wrong lets get back together, of course, but thats always been are relationship, we can't start being buddies now.

Tim called me Saturday night, his girlfriend was out of town and he was bored, so I picked up some beer and headed over. Its sad really, he should be someone I would be interested in, we looked at his comics (X-men #3, Tales of Suspense #42, dear god!!) watched Wes Craven's first and very disturbing horror movie, and talked about life and our philosophies in general. It was a great and I had a lot of fun. Mel called every 20 minutes to check on us and we really were just hanging out. Absolutely no interest in him any other way. Its not that he's not attractive. He is. Its just that my feelings are still tied up with a boy who managed to break my heart and to this day still confuses me. Why is it I can't seem to get over him? Why do I still love someone who obviously doesn't love me?

At least I'm able to have fun again. This weekend is X-2 and I'm so there. I'm trying to make Mick go with me. She went with me to the art festival sunday. we had fun. We even got snow cones afterwards. I think its interesting that I have gotten closer with her. The more we hang out the more we realize that we are nothing alike, yet somehow thats not important. we just each do things occasionally that the other will enjoy. Lets just hope things stay good and that someday soon things will be okay.

��

cabbages and kings