times gone

2003-05-11 / 7:08 p.m.

Listening::
Playing::
Reading::

Isn't it funny how something as trivial as a voice on the radio can jog your memory to times long past and people long gone? I heard a new song by the Goo Goo Dolls the other day. Johnny Resnik's voice is so regcognizable, and the instant I hear him I here Tom. Maybe it was all the long nights spent sitting on his front porch listening to him play and sing over and over again, yet always coming back to play the Goo. Every damn song of their's perfect. And a voice that oddly mirrored Johnny's, not so gravelly but still. Even Black Balloon. Stupid boy surprising me by an impromptu serenade one night as a surprise. Is it any wonder I think of him when I hear their songs?

I haven't spoken to him in ages. I think I hurt too much the last time I called, telling him that I was still trying to work things out with Brian and why? All it did was ruin the best friendship I've ever had in my life and crush the one person honestly loved me and wanted to see me happy. I don't think he cared for selfish reasons he was upset because he knew how much I hurt and the fact that I could go willing back into such pain was more than he could bear to watch. And it was pain, the most horrible aching pain ever. I still talk to Brian, he acts like there is nothing unusual about calling up the girl he destroyed to see how she is. I have to tell him how I feel that I still love him and that talking to him hurts me all over again.

Life is good though, I am in school, and doing it this time. A b in economicws beating Michelle was great. Work is good and my new work out routine, vitamins and health food contribute to my loss in weight and my better attitude on life. But sometimes old memories come back and I miss warm summer nights on porches singing my heart out while someone played along, but mostly I miss nights organizing my comics and sitting down reading off a seemingly endless list of numbers while someone entered them into the computer while debated marvels greatest characters with me....

cabbages and kings