bitchin bout brian

2004-02-09 / 12:27 p.m.

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I have a computer!!! Finally I know. Now i can update all the time so everyone gets totally sick of reading about my sad little life.

Speaking of sad Im kinda upset with Brian. Hes been really great and i know hes trying awful hard but he just doesnt seem to care to much about seeing me. Last night i got all upset and was crying because the plane ticket up there got rediculiously expensive in 2 days and it was probably pms, but I was just heartbroken. I'm not made of money, I just bought a computer and over half of my income goes to rent and electricity. I called him and he seemed irritated that I even called him about it. HIs response was thats what happens. I wasnt expecting an offer to pay but maybe a little sympathy, or a compromise, like if you cant come now how about May, or maybe even Ill help you how ever I can. He already said he wont be flying down here to spend any time with me because he would feel bad not visiting his parents which just doesnt seem fair to me, I could see if it was for a week or something but 2 days? and not even 2 full days most likely.Plus that means if we want to see each other its my finances that are going to suffer. I just dont even know what to say to him. I want this thing to work more than anything, but I feel like everytime Ibring something up he thinks I'm trying to fight with him. Im not I just want to know what hes thinking sometimes. Especially last night because that was the wrong thing to say it just made feel like why am I even bothering to save money to go see someone who doesnt even care if I come?

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cabbages and kings