I miss Daniel

2004-03-12 / 11:04 p.m.

Listening::
Playing::
Reading::

Wow I think I want to cry. I just got the sweetest email from Daniel. You all remember him right? The ex fiance who is now a homo living in Austin, who actually was the only guy to ever treat me decent so I should have know he was gay. God I wish things would have worked out. He was the most unselfish, thoughtful person I have ever met. He loved me for me and thought all my little quirks were cute, and always ALWAYS took care of me. We both wanted a daughter named Deanna.... Oh look now I am crying. Great. I asked him about seeing Wade at village, what a surprise, it was a lie. I dont even understand why he would make that up, it served no purpose but to upset me. I guess it did one thing, now anyways, it made me realize once for all that Daniel was right, Tom was right, Zipper was right, even Brian was right. Wade doesnt care about me and he never did. Daniel was like when will he ever learn...

I talked to Bri laast night...nothing got resolved on his part but I think something finally snapped inside of me. I dont deserve that. I just dont. I dont play convience girlfriend very well and nor should I have to. And I wont from now on. If i hear from him again and I doubt I will for a while I'll let him know this, until then, guess what folks consider me single. He doesn't know where we stand or if we stand so I take that to mean we don't. I let it sit for over a week now and nothing: no talking about it, no writing me, hell no talking to me period except for some jackass hello so I wouldn't "freak" again. Well I asked and asked so I guess this means I dont have a boyfriend...oh well. I love him, I really do, but I don't think that I can put up with being treated like crap any more. He can't even give me the decency of talking to me about it so how can I consider myself attached?

cabbages and kings