I hear the secrets that you keep...

2004-04-02 / 10:32 a.m.

Listening::
Playing::
Reading::

I wonder when it stopped being important to talk to each other nightly. I miss that. I haven't talked to Brian, I mean really talked to him in months. We used to sit and eat up my cell phone minutes making me scramble at the end of the month to do all my calling from different locations like work so as not to go over 3000 minutes. I know 3000 minutes. Its way easier to use than you would ever think. Now we talk for 10 minutes at the most. I can talk to a fence post. Most everyone thinks I'm pretty amusing too. Not Brian. I find myself not saying things because he's just going to think I'm stupid, or worse just not even care. It bothers me. We were friends at one time. Good friends. I just wish that we could get back to that. We used to have everything in common. And when we didnt, we used to find the differneces cute not annoying. I just dont understand. I miss the Brian that I used to know.

On the other hand I sure don't have any problems staying up till all hours of the night talking to Daniel. Ha. We have got to stop that. Another 2 hour conversation last night. It was good though. We had our usual silly fun, but we also discussed some stuff that was not easy. The whole gay thing and the breakup. It will always sting, always, but I am so glad I emailed him. I know its the big joke my gay ex-fiance, but I did love him, and will always love him to some extent. I will admit to being surprised that we managed to talk again with so little trouble. But we are fine, and that is all that matters. And if my biological clock starts winding down he will gladly impregnate me... Only this time I get an even bigger ring because thats what he gets for being gay the first time. HAHAHA. See we are just weird, and that is what makes our time together so much fun. I'm sure everyone reading this can't believe how messed up that statement was but last night we were laughing so hard.

I think tonight I am going to try to talk to Brian again. I hope that I get to, because we need to talk. Really talk nad just see if we still can.

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cabbages and kings