A new hero has arrived

2004-04-26 / 11:36 p.m.

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Working out sucks...I just got back from the gym, tired sore and happy though. I haven't lost any weight though. I dont understand. I am eating 1300 calories a day, spaced out into 5 meals just like Hope told me. I admit I'm not working out as much as I'm supposed to, but used to I could lose weight and not work out at all. I can only hope its because of that dreaded time of the month. Maybe Saturday when its gone my weight will miraculously drop five pounds. Its been know to do that. All I know is that I have had a salad for a meal for the past 5 days and man I'ts getting old. On to vegetable soup. Looks like I'm cooking it Wednesday on my day off since it takes a while.

I got hit on by the phone guy at work today. It was kinda creepy. I mean Candace thinks he's attractive, but I think she is blind. He was standing next to me talking about how it was nice to get to work next to a pretty girl and maybe he could show me the technical stuff after work. *wink Wink* and then I'm walking down the hall behind him and he stops and says that he would rather walk behind me while grinning this creepy grin. UGH. Danielle told me it was because I was too friendly to people and that I needed to be more unaproachable like her. She held out her engagement ring and was saying real loud DONT Talk to me me I'm ENGAGED!!! It was hilarious. I told her that I was single now. Its been the first time I've actually said those words to someone who wasnt my best friend. It kinda stung. Brian and I our in different places in our lives and I think that we each want different things. I think I finally realized that loving him isnt enough, there are other things that go along with a realtionship, like just making each other smile and somewhere along the way we lost that. I dont wish him any ill will. We didnt end in a big fight; we just stopped. Its as simple as that. Although I think we have been stopping for a long time now. I know hes coming into town soon, and I really hope I dont see him. Brian is not someone I can be friends with. I love him but that is asking too much from me. Maybe not seeing him is for the best. I am so glad Daniel will be here. I dont think he realizes how important it is to me. I am not for sure if there visits overlap, and I actually think Daniel is coming in after Brian leaves but I will need some cheering up. Its the girl quandary: if he does stop by I will be angry because we havent even spoken in weeks and the only reason you want to see me is sex(dont even try to lie), and if you dont stop by I'll still be angry and hurt that after all this time I meant that little to you. Sigh. I am an emotional girl. I freely admit it. Brian always said it was drama but its not that. My life is drama free, no more i hate her for siding with him crap, I just feel things very deeply. So knowing he's in town is going to bother me and I will be glad of the support of my friends. Liz and Zipper will be awesome as usual, and Anna HAHA wants to have margaritas to celebrate. But Daniel being here will help the most. I will never ever forget that evening in the field. I was a crying mess of a genie, and feeling so bad about myself, and he sat out there with me, in the cold and wet and let me cry. Everyone else left and he stayed. He took care of me for months after that. It was a difficult time for me, with my friends and my family (Paxil Paul). daniel has seen me through my worst and I can only hope to repay the favor one day.

But on to happier discussions. I am thinking about calling in tomorrow. Iknow I know, I cant afford it. But I have so much to do. I probably will work just because I need the money right now but still, I have worked the past 2 weekends straight though and my feet hurt. I need a really good foot rub. Some one send me to get a pedicure. Oh and buy me a tanning membership too!! :)

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cabbages and kings