How can you have everything and nothing to lose?

2004-07-25 / 3:03 p.m.

Listening:: Old 97's---rollerskate skinny
Playing:: who has time to play?!
Reading:: about peak oil

So yeah...I got one of the best birthday presents in the world this weekend. Old 97's rule!!! I love them so much and Rhett Miller is absolutely freaking beautiful as of late...I dont know what happened but I'm not complaining. Anyway it was great for someone to actually follow through with a birthday present. Zipper knew I'd enjoy it and I did.

Sometimes you wonder how you can be so naive when you are turning 23. Its not like I'm a stupid kid anymore, but aparently I am. I actually thought for 2 seconds that Brian could be a decent friend. You know the whole flying down here early in time for my birthday, the going to hang out with me at my birthday celebration...HA I even told Paige that her and TJ had to come so they could say hi. Boy I dont know when I got so stupid. I really should have konwn. I can think of serveral times in the past when he was supposed to spend some extended period of time with me and then oh wait...I know I kinda already told you I would be there but...but whatever. So sorry your parents have plans for that evening. So sorry you cant mangage to say hey you know what that happens to be someones birthday and that someone is still kinda important to me and I told her I would be there, do you think you could move the family gathering to Sunday? Nope. Now he doesnt seem to realize why this would be a big deal. Oh I dont know, ITS MY FUCKING BIRTHDAY!!! You are in town and cant even manage to get away for my birthday. I mean I was disapointed enough that Danny couldn't make it up here, but I could never imagine him being all I'm coming up to Dallas for a church conference so I'm sorry...I wont make it to your birthday. Or Liz. My best friend has a child, yet she will manage to get a babysitter, becuase its MY BIRTHDAY!!!

Maybe if it were someone I got to see all the time, it wouldnt matter so much. You know whatever, thats cool you can take me out next weekend, and we'll call it a late celebration...oh wait thats right, you'll be back in fucking Nebraska the next weekend. Well he said hes sure he'll see me later that week. I work, I go to school every night till 10:00. But that wont be important. And whats sad is that I probably would have skipped class one night, or called in. HAHAHA When will I learn. You see Daniel? Sucker real big across my forhead. I told you. Just one more let down in the grand scheme of things.

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cabbages and kings