"Well the heat of your touch is makin' it such that I've forgotten everything I've learned Maybe maybe I've got a problem Maybe my hearts a liar And I may be a bird in a cage but at least its your cage.."

2004-11-22 / 8:50 p.m.

Listening:: Old 97's-- Bird in A Cage
Playing::
Reading::

Ok so I�m back from Nebraska�Call me stupid, call me crazy but I had the best time in the world. I missed Brian a lot apparently, way more than I realized till I actually saw him. He was so sweet and so wonderful�it was like when we first met and were still trying to impress each other except we were already comfortable enough with each other to walk around naked. So here is the record of the weekend.. I have to write it so I won�t forget anything.

Thursday

The flight wasn�t all that bad�I was running a little late and quite frankly I was nervous. I hadn�t flown in 5 years and I had no clue where to go. I made it ok though and got to listen to a whole half of a cd before we landed. It was about an hour and a half flight. YAY! Brian was there waiting. Lying bastard hadn�t gained any weight�wished I hadn�t. But nevertheless I was glad to see him... I wouldn�t say it was weird at first�just a little odd. We chatted away, got food, and he showed me his spacious living arrangements and his x-box that can make pancakes. (It can do everything else so I�m just assuming) Bed time came and that�s when it got awkward and strange. See we weren�t going to do anything, but he�s super cute and I think our pheromones match or something, because we can never seem not to sleep together. Suffice to say we talked about some things, I think I cried I think he held me its all kind of a blur. I realized that he makes me feel safe and loved and we both went to bed a little happier knowing that the other one still cared.

Friday

Friday was the best day!! It had been way to long since I stayed in pajamas all day playing video games. No kidding here: all day. I met Bri�s friend Ramsey. He seems nice. He brought food. I don�t think he was expecting to find a girl in Brian�s room, but he was cool about it. So anyways after hours of video games we watched Full Metal Jacket�I hate that its portrayal of boot camp was accurate and I hate that Brian had to go through that. I know he survived and everything but I still worry about him even to this day, because I don�t think he deals with things well.

Saturday

Ok so Saturday was awesome..I got to go to the zoo, and take lots of pictures and see the orangutans and the tigers and the children�ok so maybe there wasn�t a children display, but the sign was very misleading�then there was all that noise�I think they escaped. Damn children. Oh and I spoke parseltonque to this wicked snake ( Harry got his powers by touching voldemort �you don�t want to know how I got mine from Harry!) Then I got to take a nap while Brian played FF XI for hours, while accomplishing nothing in the game. It sounds like I am bitter, but honestly I enjoyed the nap and the weird ass dreams I had. Finally we played Baldur�s Gate and I gave in and slept with him. Happy everyone?! I admit it. We did it. It was AWESOME!! So HA you are all jealous because I got some sweet, sweet lovin�

Sunday

Sad day. We slept late (due to all the sex, I�m sure) and then we went and got lunch at this cool pizza place and tried to go to a bookstore called the Antiquarian, which was closed but looked cool. It gives me an excuse to go back�I�m not going to see Brian I�m going shopping! (Cant let him think he�s important or anything) We played Baldur�s Gate till it was time to go�I tried really hard not to cry at the airport. It was difficult. I don�t think I realized just how much I missed him. Let me just tell you that as bad as we can be for each other, we can be triple as good for each other.


So that leaves me here at Monday�super sleepy because it was weird not having Brian to sleep next to. And craving Mountain Dew�if I start craving cigarettes I am jumping off the nearest bridge. I don�t know where we are or what we are, but I some how think that wherever it is we both realize that it�s going to be together in some sort of fashion. Hopefully after the holidays we will have a better grasp of the situation. But for now let�s just say I�m happy and leave it at that.

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cabbages and kings