a cloud has lifted

2005-10-08 / 4:09 p.m.

Listening:: January Friend--Goo Goo Dolls
Playing:: Rayman--you bastard!!
Reading:: Haunted-- Chuck Palahniuk

Ok I promise I'll post the cool survey entry that Liz tagged me with next time. I finally have almost finished it. But for now: I had a great night last night. I went to Andrews of all places. It was just on a whim, I was next door at my friend Laura's new apartment and I thought it would be rude to not stop by, I mean what if he'd seen my car? So I went and it was wonderful. I've always said there is nothing like Drew when he's drinking and I think we finally cleared some things up. He is finally the Andrew I remember from so long ago. I have been feeling nostalgic of late as it is and well last night just brought back a flood of memories. I feel that something has been missing from my life. I hesitate to say that it was stolen from me because I'm pretty sure it was something I gave with out reservations, but I feel more like me, or well I'm starting to. I had given up on the things I used to enjoy and the things that made me who I was. I was too busy trying to be something to someone who wasn't going to care one way or the other. I thought it was called compromise but I think somewhere I lost a sense of myself. So with a trunk full of new books to read and a few hours of bookstore nerd conversation under my belt I feel better. I have plans for this week, I have plans for Drew's birthday. I have plans for an uncomplicated friendship with someone that at one point was my "voice of reason"
I have plans with Liz as well. Its been wonderful to sit and play video games and just have a good time. We dont fight, we dont get mad, we just are. I love it.
I dont know if I'm out of my funk, but I do know that as of this moment I am well on my way. Perhaps the voice of reason said it all last night: you have to take care of yourself first before you can begin to take care of others.
On a side note: Is it weird that I am considering meeting someone off the internet? Its a journal thing, not a hook up thing. Curtis seems like a really nice person and someone who could be fun.

ps- Haunted by Chuck Palahniuk is starting out to be awesome!!

cabbages and kings