Sleeping in goggles sucks

2005-11-07 / 5:37 p.m.

Listening::
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The Surgery

Well the surgery is over...it did not go smoothly and lets just say as of now I am convinced I have mild precognative ability. I KNEW it wouldnt go well, something just told me. I mean I can see and all but you never want to hear during a medical proceedure, "Hmmm lets try that again." The damn flap on my left eye was not co-operating. The Doc got it lifted but at a horrible cost. The pain for the next few days was almost unbearable and for 5 days I couldnt read my vision was so blurry. Its better now, I wouldnt say perfect but better. All I have to say is never again. Thanks to all those that so kindly checked up on me and called so regularly. I appreciate it. All I could do was talk on the phone and sleep so you all were a welcome distraction. OH and by the way tramadol makes me itch?!
Overthinking?

I am tired of being the strong one. I am tired of being the one that is so reassuring and so sure in everything. Its not easy being the one people come to. I get scared too. I get freaked out, I wobble in my beliefs, but somehow it seems like that is not allowed. Just for once I would like someone to reassure me: I need to hear that I'm right, and not just stupid and ever hopeful with no cause. Yes actions do speak louder that words but not when those words are never spoken. I have had a lot of time to do nothing but think and what strikes me as odd sometimes is that I was originally supposed to be being shown that change isnt frightening anymore and a do-able thing yet I seem to be the one doing the reassuring that it is something do-able. Hell we all know I can change, impulsiveness is definitely one of my main character traits. I dont know: basically I'm scared and scarred and all sorts of things and especially at this time of year. Bad things have happened around here for me and right now I dont want to be stepping out on any proverbial limbs that may crack underfoot. So lets hope all that trust I so blindly give out is well placed.
Friends Night Returns

Andrew and I have revived the ancient ritual of friends night. It all started years ago when we would take turns every Thursday cooking dinner and we would get together and watch Friends. It was all great fun and we have some great memories. Well the ritual is now a Sunday night Desparate Housewives and Grey's Anatomy thing. I had never watched them but oh my gosh they are good tv. I call it my "Will and Grace" night. We may try to get together another night for movies but for now Sunday is assured. He cooked me a delicious tomato chicken pasta dish last night and I will be fixing the famous enchiladas for him this week. Ana G has already reqested her portion. You would think that a Mexican could make her own enchiladas but no...she just has to have some of mine.

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cabbages and kings