a quandary

2005-11-15 / 8:56 a.m.

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I'm in a quandary. I got some information on a program I'm interested in doing, but if I do it A- its horribly expensive and I will be in for several student loans, and B- I will be stuck here for 2 years. I know this is my future we're talking about but what if my future lies in another direction? Do I dare even hope that it does at this point or do I do my own thing thereby maybe ruining any chance I had to be free to leave this place?
Is the fact that I would consider putting my life on hold once again prove that maybe I do need some sort of psychiatric help? I mean really what are the odds that I will end up in Alabama? I truly wish it would be like I dream but somehow I have this overwhelming fear that it wont. Is this just an irrational fear, or is it based on something else? I dont know, well I guess I'll be closer to knowing in a few days but still I wonder just what truths I will find out and what portion will just be thought better of later when people start second guesign thiemselves and being afraid.

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cabbages and kings