A disapointment all around

2005-11-16 / 9:30 p.m.

Listening:: the washer and dryer
Reading:: a game of thrones--George RR Martin

Well I guess I should finally write about whats been going on. First off all hell has broken loose in my family: I havent really talked to anyone about it, because its extremely personal (not my parents this time oddly enough) but suffice to say I am both shocked and dismayed at some of my family members. Also my aunt is sick, very sick. There is not a damn thing we can do for her and she has done it to herself but still. I'm not close to her at all, but when I was little I idolized her daughter. She looked just like me too. I found a picture of her at nanny's house and I couldnt figure out when she'd gotten that picture of me; turned out it was my cousin Tracy. Tracy is about ten years older than me, ex-military and still super cool, I truly feel bad if only for her sake.
I had a great "Will and Grace" night Sunday. Full of my delicious enchiladas. I used much better ingredients: hand grated cheese from central market, olives soaked in chilis and fresh tortillas from Rosas. I think Andrew liked them: he ate three. I took some to work and they were such a hit I had to bring the rest because the people who didnt get any were upset. So they are all gone now and everyone is happy. Jen asked for a key so next time I make them she can steal them. Of course desperate housewives was great. I never laughed so hard as when that crazy ass pharmacist attacked the therapist.
I have managed to go to the track twice this week. Its actually been kinda therapeutic. I feel better, its just been cold. I wanted to keep going tonight but the cold was making me way to snotty to even consider it. I was glad Wade made me go: we have good times out there being miserable. At least if I'm exercising I am going to be laughing. Ahhh fake Tom...there is nothing like that story to make you forget you are in pain.
We went to starbucks after that so I could meet up with Paige. I needed her advice on school since she is oddly knowledgable about that. After giving me a look that bespoke her EWWW of the previous weekend we moved on and she tactfully ignored my lack of judgement in her opinion. She thinks I should research the art institute, but that it sounds like a good idea. Then we started making crazy plans for candy corn sculptures and houses and creamed candy corn...I'm glad somethings never change. She is going to spend the night next weekend and we are going to stay up and have a good old fashioned bad movie night. Hopefully it will be a thing we do often: I really miss that girl. We need an X-File-a-thon, full of giggles and bile pudding. Dont ask. Lets just say the one time we tried to let someone in on it, you would have thought we were feeding them REAL bile.
I am truly upset right now. I had this great idea for a big surprise for this weekend and I just got off the phone with my mother and I really dont think I will be able to pull it off. I can try but I have visions of me burning down the apartment. Its not that I cant cook because I can and pretty good too, but this is something I have zero experience with. My family doesnt eat this at all except for once a year and I've never paid too much attention. Frankly I usually hang out with my dad. I think I could manage some parts of the surprise but I dont know. I dont know whether to try and fail miserably or to just go buy a damn surprise, or frankly just pay attention this year and hope to god I get a chance to surprise next year. It just is upsetting because i really want to make someones weekend special, but I'm afraid I'll just screw it up. Sigh. and if I had more time I would just research it and give it a whirl.. alas I have about 12 hours till work and after that its too late to learn anything. Hmmmm there is always Lubys down the street....

cabbages and kings