I'm dying send me presents

2002-10-25 / 7:05 p.m.

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I'm dying, give me presents!! Thats my new line. I'm not really dying but it kinda feels like it. For months my stomach has been bothering me. Some times I would leave Waldens throwing up and it just kept getting worse and worse. I thought it was stress. But I decided to go to the doctor. After laying me down and pushing all around my stomach dr Martin found my galblatter. OH GOD!!! it hhurt like hell. So now I cant eat fatty, spicy, or basically tasty foods for 3 weeks, after which i will slowly reintroduce my body to normal foods and if it comes back, out he comes. (he being my galblatter) Everyone thinks its going to happen; mom, her doctor friends, and even my pharmacy people. It scares me t death. Yes its a simple surgery but the key word there is SURGERY. I've never even had a broken bone...I dont wanna go under, and have and IV or even wake up with cute bandages. Most everyone has been really nice. Ashley told Jeff and him and James got me a present, and jeff bought himself a ton of cool stuff for me to borrow. Candace gets me sprite at work because I cant have caffine and is cooking me stuff. Even my mean boss Larry was sympathetic and said he understood that my condition was painful and if I needed to go home to tel him. Then he gave me a raise. I guess he was happy that I havent missed any work except the appointment day. Michelle was the best though. She said I was luckly that it was easy surgery but she knew that if it was her shed be scared and she understood. She offered to take off to go to all my doctors appointment and I said thanks but I'll be fine, but she insisted on being there for the surgery and assured me I'd wake up to a room full of Daisys because there my favorite flower. Dad cooks or gets me a healthy tasteless dinner every night, and mom even offered to let Brian stay at her house after the surgery because she knew I was scared and that he would make me feel better. I dont think he'll take her up on the offer, he didnt seem concerned and seemed confused as to why I thought he would want to be there. I love him so much, but I feel like its so one sided at times. I am going to his graduation in San antonio, I will vacation where he stationed, hell i'd follow him if he asked, probably. (provided we work out)

I love him comp;etely and the thought of him being in pain or scared would hurt me, and I would do what ever. I moved out but I still love him. I dont even know if he wants to see me any more. He cant commit to plans or even call regularly. I just want things to work but I need his help...

Any way so anyone reading this is obligated to send flowers (preferably daisies, but anything is appreciated) or gifts (heartfelt cards, cute stuffed animals, or expensive jewelry is best) or of course a mere note or call to let me know you care is fine as well....

HAve a great halloween cause I dont know if i'll be back at a computer by then. Heres hoping mine is better than usual, and I dont give in to the enormaus urge to drink away the pain of previous costume parties...Just remember the smiling red headed courtisan (high priced whore) is me!!!

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cabbages and kings