of sno-cones and movie love...

2004-04-08 / 2:18 p.m.

Listening::
Playing::
Reading::

I havent updated in a while, but my computer was broke for a day or two so thats my excuse. Ok, not my computer but charter was down. Actually my modem just needed to be unplugged, apparently, for a minute and then all was well. Not that it would have mattered because I probably wouldnt have updated anyway. I have been kinda confused as of late. Boys confuse me. Last night I had a great time with Liz and we discussed boys and ate sno-cones. We decided we want movie love. You know that intense passion, the undying devotion, portrayed in such movies as Moulin Rouge and Robin Hood. I mean it; I want Moulin Rouge love. I want musical love, I want someone to think of me when they hear a certain song on the radio and I want them to call and tell me they were thinking of me. I want flowers and thoughtful gifts, not expensive, just thoughtful. I want t oknow that I am loved not just to have to assume. Does that even exist in the real world? I would like to know. I dont know anyone that happy. My parents certainly weren't. But I keep holding out hope that it does exist, and that one day that will be me.

I am just confused as of late. I just keep thinking things better left unthought (yes I just made up that word). I dont know why. Maybe its natural, maybe I'm just a pathetic fool, but still one cannot control ones dreams. Hopefully something will be resolved in my own mind soon because May is fast approaching and I need to have all my thinking done by then. Who am I kidding, we all know that it comes down to a single gesture, a word, or a phrase spoken that will turn the tides for me. It has never been up to me because I have always been able to give movie love...I just wonder if anybody out there can give it back to me....

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cabbages and kings